Every year, the wealth community descends on the same convention centers to shuffle through the same crowded exhibit halls and exchange the same pleasantries over lukewarm coffee. For years, I was among them, with my badge lanyard around my neck, a stack of cards in my pocket and a hope that somewhere in the noise, a meaningful connection would emerge.
It rarely did.
Don’t get me wrong, conferences have their place. There’s value in continuing education, reconnecting with old industry friends, staying current on market trends and hearing from thought leaders in our industry. But somewhere along the way, I conflated attendance with relationship building. I confused proximity with connection. I’d attend the panels, keynotes and cocktail hours, arriving home with a pile of business cards. But there was always a lingering sense that I was missing something from the experience.
I conflated attendance with relationship building. I confused proximity with connection.
Beyond The Convention Center
A few years ago, I made a conscious decision to redirect Opto’s energy. We started investing in something more personal: shared experiences with our clients.
The idea was simple. You don’t really get to know someone in a 20-minute coffee meeting or across a crowded networking table. You get to know them when you’re side by side, focused on something you both care about, with your guard down and your competitive spirit up. So we started doing just that.
There’s a reason business has been conducted on fairways for generations. Four hours with someone reveals more about their character than four Zooms or calls do. How they handle a bad lie, whether they celebrate a competitor’s birdie and how they talk to the cart attendant all matters. Some of our most honest, productive and enjoyable client conversations have happened somewhere between the third tee and the 18th green.
Beyond The Course
While golf has long been known as a favorite pastime of financial professionals, anyone who knows me realizes that I also enjoy adventurous activities. There’s something about a trail that strips away pretense and allows people to get lost in conversation. No cell service. No agenda. Just the rhythm of footsteps and dialogue that wanders as freely as the path. Clients who were once formal and guarded have opened up in ways that simply don’t happen in a conference room.
I’ve also found that skiing brings its own dynamic with the shared vulnerability of navigating a double black diamond trail, the camaraderie of a warm lodge after a cold morning and the laughter that comes from watching each other wipe out (and dust off). The apres-ski conversations are completely different from the exchanges that you might have in the hallway of a convention center.
These experiences don’t just build rapport. They build trust — the kind that’s earned, not assumed. When a client has been pushed to the limit with you or navigated a mountain trail beside you, they know something about who you are. And you know something about them that no Zoom call or portfolio review could ever capture.
When a client has been pushed to the limit with you or navigated a mountain trail beside you, they know something about who you are.
If you’ve ever attended one of Opto’s offsites, you know we spend as much, if not more, time outdoors as we do in the presentation room. There’s nothing we love more than surfing before sunrise, battling it out on the pickleball court or navigating a fast-moving stream on a whitewater raft. It’s these shared experiences that bring us closer together as colleagues and friends — more than any happy hour ever could.
Beyond The Surface
These moments generate conversations that matter, and the informal setting creates permission to go deeper. Perhaps most importantly, people remember how you made them feel. They may forget what you said at a meeting, but they won’t forget the day you skied fresh powder together or crossed the finish line side by side. I’m not anti-conference; I’m pro-relationship and have discovered that the best relationships in this business aren’t built in ballrooms — they’re built in the moments where you show up.
Establishing that human connection leads to introductions that lead to more introductions — not only more connections, but deeper ones. These are the connections that build careers and businesses, last for decades and sometimes lead to lifelong friendships.
Ryan VanGorder is CEO of Opto Investments, a platform that helps RIAs and family offices build proprietary private markets funds and access curated, high-conviction opportunities.
